Wedding Breakfasts - Etiquette and a How To!

I touched on table etiquette in an earlier blog, so I thought I’d expand on it. 

In an increasingly fast paced and casual world, many people no longer attend formal dinners, or even eat in a formal style at home or in restaurants.  This is just the way of modern society and isn’t very noteworthy – until it comes to a wedding!

For many weddings, the whole day takes on a fairy tale opulence, and has its own traditions, etiquette and even its own language! 

Does it matter?  Well yes, and also no!  If you want the big banquet dinner with shiny cutlery and sparkling glassware, then you are introducing customs and traditions.  In reality it doesn’t matter if someone uses the red wine glass for the white wine, or their mains fork for their starter, but the flipside is that your guests may feel a little embarrassed if faced with an unfamiliar environment!

We don’t want guests feeling embarrassed on the big day (especially those sat on top table, or perhaps sitting with older guests), so here is a little guide!

 

A typical place setting

The basic rule is “start on the outside and work in”.  The cutlery for every place setting should be laid accordingly, with starter (smaller) cutlery on the outside, with the mains (larger) cutlery inside/closer to the plate.  Dessert cutlery (which may be a spoon and a fork) is often laid above the place setting and brought down when dessert is served.  Your glasses are to the right, above your knife, your bread plate to the left with (usually) its own knife.  If soup is served there will be a soup spoon which is different to a dessert spoon – it is very round!  If soup is an option, the spoon may come with the soup bowl.  If you don’t have one just ask the servers - it may remind them to bring out the spoons!

 

Soup spoon and Dessert Spoon

Unless you are at a very posh dinner you should have three glasses – one for water and two wine glasses.  White (or rose) wine is the smaller glass, red the larger. If only one glass is set then use it for whichever wine you are drinking.  Wine should be poured to “the widest point of the glass”, so if a waiter doesn’t fill it to the brim, they are doing it properly!  In theory you should drink white wine with fish or chicken, red wine with red meats – but at a wedding feel free to drink whatever you like!  My friend Stuart would always wait to see what everyone else at the table was drinking them choose the opposite.  Why?  More for him of course!

A casual set up from
Ambience South Birmingham

Of course, you don’t have to make your wedding reception formal if you don’t want to.  Sharing platters, or family style shared bowls are popular and get a table talking.  Your place setting can be less formal to take up less room or perhaps have a buffet or a hog roast – choose whatever makes you and your guests most comfortable and ENJOY YOUR DAY!

 

Oh, and the “dinner” at a wedding reception really is called the “Wedding Breakfast” as it was the first meal the bride and Groom shared, thus they were “breaking their fast”.  Some traditions are worth knowing about!