Wedding Butler

  When I’m wearing my full butler “regalia”, I often get comments on how smart I look – and I tend to brush them off as “just my workwear”. But in reality, it isn’t just workwear. When I’m working, I wear full tails: a black tailcoat, grey striped trousers, a formal shirt, waistcoat, and either a tie or bow tie. Every element is intentional. At some weddings and events, you’ll see a toastmaster – distinguished by their red coat (technically “Hunting Pink”), a white waistcoat, white tie, and usually a medallion denoting their guild. I deliberately chose not to go down that route. I’ve worked with excellent toastmasters, including one in the City of London, and I understand their formal wear and their traditions. I’ve adapted their look, but not their style, because I want to present something more contemporary while still holding onto certain traditions. Their approach has remained largely unchanged; mine evolves with modern weddings and modern couples. The way I dress for a ...

  You can pour your soul out singing a song you believe in, knowing tomorrow they might forget you ever sang. Sing it anyway. There was a time when Martina McBride’s Sing It Anyway became a personal mantra - muttered under my breath on agency shifts, whispered in the back corridors of venues where standards rose and fell depending on who was on the rota. Working as an agency waiter and a freelance manager, alongside building the Wedding Butler means stepping into rooms with wildly different levels of service, competence, and care. Many of you will know the feeling: doing your best while others around you…aren’t. Hospitality is one of the few industries where you can technically “do your job” by doing the bare minimum — put plates on tables, clear them again, repeat. Or you can do your job well and deliver genuine guest service. The difference is night and day, and yet both are called “hospitality.” Throughout my career, I’ve sworn I will only work at one level - my level . My sta...

  Remember when a cardboard box was a rocket ship or a racing car? When the end of your garden was a prehistoric world? When swimming at the local pool was actually swimming across the Channel? Remember when dreams were so much simpler? “Cause every night I lie in bed The brightest colours fill my head A million dreams are keeping me awake.” When you take those million dreams and apply them to your wedding day, does it really need to get so complicated - and so expensive? Actually, no. Even Cinderella’s fairy godmother made use of a pumpkin and some handy rodents. Everyone dreams of their wedding day - how it will be, how it will feel. We tend not to dream about how much it will cost. It’s so easy to get carried away with spending, or get frustrated that you can’t afford everything you want. You can fly to the moon - just not necessarily on a Swarovski‑encrusted rocket ship. And maybe not in an Amazon delivery box (although you’ll probably have plenty to spare). Whate...

  Having worked freelance around London before my move to the Midlands, I’ve had the opportunity to work at some huge events some VVIP events, luxury hotels and even had some royal guests.  To be honest, even the National TV Awards, the Brit awards, it all became a bit, well...normal   A few years ago, I was asked to look after an actual celebrity wedding – but there was a twist.   Three-day takeover of a Country house hotel in Shropshire with events on each day, guests bussed in from a nearby hotel.   The Bride and Groom are actors; the bride’s father was a famous child star in the beginnings of Bollywood.   Looking back, it feels almost surreal to see that Bride and Groom on the red carpet at the premiere of his new Netflix show.   The wedding itself though wasn’t all Hello magazine and OTT security; it was a typical (albeit three day) family wedding.   Nobody had any airs and graces, nobody thought they were better than anyone else. ...

I was chatting with a colleague recently about “the old days”, and you’ll often hear me talking about “old school” when it comes to hospitality. Let’s face it, I’ve been doing this for a while. But it struck us that there are certain tasks many of our younger colleagues have never done - and never will. It’s just an age thing. “Cash out” is probably gone, as is walking through a crowded bar or nightclub carrying a till drawer, locking yourself in an office, or even - as in my first pub - a change room with bags of coins counted out and lined up. Thinking back, there were plenty more things from those days: carrying matches, the “proper” way to change a dirty ashtray, the old method of pouring a Guinness (yes, the training has changed). iPads for orders didn’t exist, and stock‑control tills had a button for every single item… somewhere. And then there were the kitchens - where shouting and throwing things was normal. No CCTV. Bouncers before SIA training and badges. And some venues didn...

  I was writing about whimsy weddings recently – simple, personal etc- and it occurred to me that my parents wedding in 1964 was probably very similar.   I was with my mother this week, so I asked her about the day.   It turns out that yes, it was quite similar – wedding at her childhood church, wedding breakfast in the church hall straight afterwards.   The bridesmaids dresses were handmade/altered and reused many times over after the wedding for parties, balls etc.   There were only two options for a wedding in the 1960s – church or registry office.   Receptions would be held in the banqueting suite of a hotel, and it was part of the best man’s job to hand out maps and ensure everyone had a lift.   In my parents case, there was no evening party – after the meal it was back to the house and the couple would get ready to go straight off on honeymoon – Brighton, rather than the Maldives!   In some ways, my parents wedding feels like a “...