Pomp and Circumstances - Following Wedding Etiquette and Traditions


Many watching the Queen’s funeral will have been impressed and moved by the pageantry and the formality.  It brought to mind a wedding day, with all its own traditions, ceremony and etiquette.

The tributes paid in the build up to the funeral showed the lighter side of the Queen, reminding us that on one side she was the figurehead of centuries old tradition and on the other relaxed and friendly.

 

So it should be on your wedding day.  Some etiquette and tradition is almost always followed, some doesn’t need to be.  Despite appearances, my role on your big day isn’t to be a stickler for how things “should be done” but to balance the two, advise when appropriate and simply ignore when not.  Your wedding doesn’t need to conform to Debrett’s guide, but some parts are nice to follow! 

 



This ranges from which side Dad stands to walk you up the aisle1 to whether to stand for a toast2.  For many, a formal wedding breakfast can be a brand-new experience, and – without ever being stuffy – I will (if needed) whisper in someone’s ear which cutlery to use3, or which bread plate is theirs4.  This is not to make your day formal, but to ease anyone’s discomfort or their own fear of looking silly.  It can be daunting – especially at your own wedding.  I have been asked by a bride and groom when they should start eating5 – as the whole room is effectively looking at you!

 




Whatever type of day you are having, leave the etiquette to me – and whatever you do, enjoy your day! 

 


1 Dad – or whoever is “giving away” stands on the left, bride is escorted on his right arm

2 Not necessary, but if the guests do stand, the subject of the toast should remain seated

3 Start at the outside and work in

4 On your left

5 Bride and Groom are the guests of honour and do not need to wait before eating


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